Meditative Moments

I admit to having a love-hate relationship with technology. Don't get me wrong, in some ways all of these technological advancements are a blessing. I have a wealth of RA information at my fingertips at all times. That numbness and tingling I'm feeling in my fingers? I can find a reason for it on Google. It was an Amazon search that introduced me to my favorite pen, which makes it possible for me to write again. On the days that it hurts too much to type I can just talk to my computer as I would if it was my best friend. My computer in turn will write my 8 page History paper for me. Technology rocks sometimes.

But as much as computers help a person like me to function, there's a dark side. It's easy to become overwhelmed by the plethora of information out there. This isn't helpful for a person has anxiety issues, especially when some health websites can convince you that you stomach ache is a sign of cancer. Social media is distracting and often prevents me from getting any writing done. One of my recent observations is that social media websites often lead people to feel bad about themselves. Admit it- one of your classmates from high school recently posted about a really cool new "grown up" job she just got, and you sat there thinking about how you'll never live up to that, or how you're a failure because you still work at a movie theater sweeping up popcorn.

This weekend I decided to experiment with a technology cleanse, similar to the way those health nuts do colon cleanses every other week. I shut the computer off. Threw the tablet in a drawer. I didn't reach for the TV remote or my iPod. I settled on the couch this armed only with my favorite pen and a notebook. If it had been dark out, I might have gone so far as to attempt to write by candlelight, since that's something I always said I wanted to try.

For once in my life, it was like the clouds had parted to allow a beam of light to hit me. The RA brain fog (which is a real thing!) that perpetually haunts took a back seat to my creativity. I wrote uninhibited, without stopping to check Facebook or to over think my sentences. I didn't stop to delete, rewrite, or censor my ideas. I wrote as fast as my shaky, arthritic hands would allow. Most importantly, I was calm. There was no anxiety to be perfect on the first try. There was no hesitation. There's something meditative about being able to turn off the world and focus on the moment. I was able to relax and just focus on my writing. I didn't have to worry about what was going on around me.

I learned a valuable lesson from shutting off all of my electronics. When a person has RA, they sometimes forget how important it is to take the time to back away from the world and center themselves. The more centered I am, the better I work. That's part of the reason why I put a technology ban in place to write this post. As ironic as this is, I think I'm going to start writing all of my blog posts offline.